lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize