Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
