I can text with my tongue
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
