I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize