im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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