Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize