Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
it hurts more in the daytime
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize