U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
