Just fell off a train. Bad.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize