I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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