Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
3 2 1 whiskey
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize