did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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