After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
