At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize