I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
