i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
