i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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