i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just cut my nipple shaving
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
