I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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