i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
