i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize