"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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