THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
