babies were throwing up all over the place
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize