i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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