i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize