Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
