Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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