And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
