escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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