i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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