Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
