the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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