I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
