Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
