i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your penis caused this!
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