mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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