So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize