shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
