I seem to have left my pride at pride
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
