Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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