your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
