She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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