i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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