To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
