i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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