hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
