he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just want to make out with him forever
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
