Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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