You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
