did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My liver just had a heart attack.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
