im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
