im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
did i just pee glitter
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize