That's intense
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
