When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
