Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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