when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize