you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize